BAD SENATE, GOODER
It should come as no surprise that the United States Senate—and I am sorry for using such strong language out of the gate—has room for improvement. Did you know that every state gets two senators? Even Missouri? Kind of unbelievable.
“Well,” maybe you say, mouthful of Peanut M&Ms, completely incapable of love, “maybe there needs to be a balance against the House, which is proportioned based on population.” And sure, feel free to interrupt. And I’ll even concede that idea, despite it being stupid and bad. Maybe the citizens of Maine should have the same number of senators as Idaho, despite all the horrors uncovered by longform journalist Stephen King. Just maybe.
But if the Senate is going to represent all states equally, then that representation should also reflect the population of the state itself. And right now, two first-past-the-post senators just doesn’t do that. If you’re a stinky lib, consider the literal millions of Democratic voters in Texas whose Soros checks are all but wasted; if you’re a MAGA pervert, imagine just how many of your fellow registered sex offenders don’t get a say in how California votes on federal legislation. It’s unfair and that makes me super mad!
Senate seats should be based on proportional representation
States that are around 50/50 voter preference-wise should see that reflected in their senators. Can you just imagine how fun that would be? Oh happy day! An embarrassment of riches! A senator of each major political party, holding hands as they skip up the Capitol steps, maybe stealing away to the janitor’s closet for the most fleeting of kisses. From there it gets pretty raunchy. Hand stuff. Mouth stuff. A bunch of electrodes wired to two blocks of wood big enough for Mistress Katrina to stand on stuff.
“Aha!” you remark over the jeers of visitors who make the trek to your squalid home only to berate you, a Mecca of public humiliation, “then what about those states that are predominantly controlled by a single party? With only two senators, kind of throws your [snarky input drowned out by several dozen schoolchildren calling you Señor Dipshit].”
Thanks for the segue, moron.
All States Get 10 Senators
Unfortunately, five times as many senators means five times as many glassy-eyed senatorial aides running around Capitol Hill with inflated senses of self-worth despite most of their energy being spent as a lunch concierge. But, that’s a small price to pay for a Senate which actually looks vaguely like the U.S. voting population if you squint and drink—which is also the only way I can get anybody to date me. I’m kidding! Kind of!
With 10 senators per state, elected by proportional representation, you see a few changes:
More independents.
Based on existing first-past-the-post voter turnout, proportional representation with 10 senators would see 5% of Senate seats apportioned to third-party candidates, as opposed to the current 2%. That number would likely increase, since it’s no longer framed as a “wasted vote” so long as that candidate can hit 10% statewide.